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It is important to note that you build and create your children?s self-esteem and self image. The words and actions you choose in interacting with them will have long lasting effects on them for the rest of their lives. This may seem like a no brainer, but the problem that arises is what parents say when they are angry, tired, stressed, and when their child is not listening or obeying. The way you treat your children and the words you use with them matter. Even the things you think about your children matter too, so try to think positive things about them, otherwise they will feel and most likely become the very things you are thinking about. This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy because although the original thought or prophecy may have been false, a child may start to believe it as true, so then their behaviors and reactions ultimately live up to what was expected of him or her. You have a great influence over the way your children feel about themselves.

?Conditioning? is what happens when an individual is exposed to certain things, and then in turn acts or feels a certain way because of what they were repeatedly exposed to. For example, if your parents threatened or said they didn?t love you, or said that they hated you, called you names or put you down when they were angry, you may unconsciously find yourself doing this when you are upset. Perhaps you grew up and vowed never to say those things to your kids or to other people, but do you say them to yourself?

The point is, although children are resilient, when they grow up in a home where they are verbally abused and put down, there will be profound negative effects. Sometimes this comes in the form of self-hate, which can then turn into hate and anger towards others. Remember the saying. You can?t love anyone else until you love yourself. Great wisdom exists in these words.

Be mindful of what you say to your children! If you give them unconditional love and acceptance, they will grow and flourish, learning to love themselves and to be able to have faith and trust in others around them--especially you. By supporting your children in this way they will learn that they can trust in you and they will more likely come to you when they have a problem. All kids struggle with issues with peers at one time or another. It is important that you be there for your child in a supportive and nonjudgmental manner. Don?t you remember what it was like to be a child or teen and how you felt at times like nobody in the world understood you--especially your parents? Didn?t you hate that feeling? Some of the things that children struggle with may seem very trivial, but to them it is their whole world, and their feelings need to be respected. The reason why we are able to help the children and teens we work with is because we really listen and care about what they are saying. If you build this type of relationship with your child, it will be easier to talk with him or her about crucial areas that need to be discussed, such as drugs and sex.

Unfortunately most of what children know about sex is by what the media tells them (i.e. television, magazines, internet), by what their friends tell them, and by their own experiences. It may seem easy enough to just say no sex until you?re married, and while this is a great idea and hope to have for your child, the reality is that many children become sexually active well before marriage. But the truth is, the more you talk with them--really talk with them--about the ins and outs of sex, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, attachment and heartache, they may be less likely to engage in it. Or if they do, they will make better choices about it. This also doesn?t mean just sitting down with them one time and talking about it, you need to check in with them from time to time and ask them about their friends and pressures at school or what they have been hearing.

Once again, try not to judge. This may be very difficult as you may not like what you hear, but it?s better that you know what your children are being exposed to than being left in the dark. This way you can help guide them and give them the support they need to make the right choices. Do not confuse this with having the sole role of friend to your child, because although you do need to be your child?s friend, your role as parent needs to come first. This is also true for discussions about drugs. You need to talk with your children about drugs, and please don?t wait until it is too late. Teach them while they are young, talk to them about what happens to people when they become addicted to drugs, and talk to them about peer pressure. Give them tools and ideas for how to say no. And be aware of what your children are doing, pay attention to their moods and behavior, and if you learn they are doing drugs, get help. Put your foot down, set limits. It is not okay for your child or teen to be using drugs or alcohol--period. And with this be careful what you are modeling for them. If you don?t want them to drink and smoke, it would be wise not to partake in these activities either. Otherwise you will be what your children will correctly call a hypocrite--and nobody wants to listen to a hypocrite. The sad thing is that your words don?t mean much if your actions are saying something else. What you teach your children now will help them to be healthy functioning adults when they grow up.

Lesson # 1 Acknowledge that the simple, pure emotions of anger and sadness that children express are at the root of more complicated adult feelings.  

When children are traumatized, they heal from it naturally as long as there is a safe environment to do so. Many children experience a wide range of traumas like sexual abuse, death of a loved one, divorce, moving to a new neighborhood, or being teased at daycare. As surprising as it may be, I have observed that there are only two emotions which children express to help themselves heal. These two emotions are ANGER and SADNESS. In affirmation of the wisdom of this natural choice by my young clients, I have noted a similar pattern among my adult clients. Those who make the most progress are those who get in touch with these primary emotions of sadness and anger.  

Lesson # 2 Express your feelings. Don?t repress them.  

As adults we develop defenses such as depression, anxiety, phobias, worry, stress-induced illnesses, and a myriad of other non-healing ways of trying to cope with emotional pain. In contrast to children, some adults never cry or display anger. Most adults take repression too far. While doing Anger Work, both children and adults learn to express their anger in safe environments. The following case of Shawn and Jaime are good examples of how children use their sadness and anger to heal themselves. (Please note that names and details have been changed to protect the confidentiality of my clients).  

Once when I was directing a day care center, the parents of a two-year old child named Shawn was left with me by her parents. It was the first time in her life she had ever been separated from them. As I took Shawn from her anxious parents, she immediately started crying. Shawn cried off and on for the entire three hours. Though I tried to set her down a couple of times, she never let go of me. By the time her parents returned, my shirt was soaked.  

The next week Shawn returned and of course started crying the second her parents left. I held Shawn for about five minutes and then she stopped crying. After watching the other children playing all around us, she slowly made her way out of my arms. Though she kept a watchful eye out for me for a few minutes to make sure that I would rescue her, Shawn began to play. She never cried again when her parents left her at childcare with me. Shawn?s tears of sadness helped her heal from the emotional trauma of leaving her parents for the first time in her life.  

As the case of Shawn demonstrates, experiencing and expressing your sadness through tears can be an effective tool for healing. However, I find that children between the ages of two and seven primarily express one feeling during their treatment: that is anger. They rarely cry about their trauma--they just get angry, sometimes very angry. Afterward they leave the session feeling better, and over time the symptoms which brought them into therapy go away. Children like Jaime in the following story have taught me that anger heals.  

Jamie was a two-and-a-half year old girl with whom I worked for a year. She was brought to therapy because she had been sexually abused by a man and woman at a day care center where she was being watched for a few hours. Evidence of this crime was her radical behavior change after the incident. She regressed to soiling her panties, began playing with her private parts, started pinching and biting her younger brother, and did not want to return to the daycare. When I saw her, she appeared to be a sweet little girl who just wanted to play. During all the sessions with Jamie, her mom or dad stayed with us in the same room, reading magazines or books, so that Jamie would give me her full attention. Quickly Jaime began displaying intense anger towards toys as she played with them. She would growl at them, hit them, throw them, and even try to destroy them. Jamie had told her parents what happened at the daycare, but she never verbalized anything about the abuse during therapy. Her play clearly displayed that she was angry at the abusers who had fondled her private parts.  The parents were instructed not to let Jamie aim her anger at them or her younger brother. During the year, Jamie's behavior gradually improved until she was back to her old self. Therapy was terminated and Jamie has never returned. She is reported to be doing fine.  

Lesson # 3 Have an appropriate object for your wrath. Acting-out on people or animals takes you backwards.  

Tony was an eight year old bully. He was always getting in trouble at school for teasing and tripping younger kids. Other times, he would take strings that had bells or forks attached to them and tie them to the cat?s tail in order to torment the poor old cat. Once Sam, the family?s golden retriever who loved people food, had to be rushed to the animal emergency hospital because he had suddenly become deathly ill. After surgery, the veterinarian found a cactus spine in Sam?s stomach. Tony confessed that he had given the cactus spine to Sam covered in butter. His parents were very concerned and did not know what to do.  

First I helped them to come up with rewards for when Tony was behaving appropriately, and taught them to use time out for when he was taking out his anger on others. Having his parents reinforce appropriate behavior at home, in addition to bringing him to therapy was very helpful. Very shortly, Tony began to love coming to therapy, because here he and I had lots of toys and he could do whatever he wanted. He was free to express his anger, as long as he did not direct it at me. His favorite ?toy? was my couch. He loved to throw things at it, jump on it, hit it whatever he wanted. When Tony first came to see me his anger was a constant threat, boiling just beneath the surface. He was expressing his anger at people and animals, and his problems only snowballed. His self esteem was very low and he felt that nobody really liked him. He was ostracized on the playground because he had done so many mean things to his classmates that most of them stayed away from him out of self-protection. In therapy he expressed his anger by directing it at inanimate objects and his life began to transform. He was now releasing his anger regularly, instead of letting it build up. Without all that repressed anger, he didn?t feel as many impulses to do mean things.  

Lesson #4  Stay active and use your body to express yourself, especially when you?re doing Anger Work.  

If you think about it from a historical perspective, it has not been long since our world was much more physically active, like our children?s world. In the past, people did more physically demanding work for a living. They spent 5-12 hours a day doing something physical, like chopping wood, harvesting fields, hand-washing the laundry or grinding grain. This type of work provided more natural opportunities for letting off steam.

Today our lives are often more sedentary. We need to be proactive in creating opportunities for exercise and include a healthy expression of anger at the same time. My young clients are almost always throwing, shooting, or hitting something during their sessions. Combining physical work with anger work is not only good for the body, but for the psyche as well. Today we must work to add that additional activity to our daily lives.  

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Los Angeles LASIK eye surgeon Dr. Robert Maloney has run into a few previous patients of laser vision correction wearing glasses. At first alarmed, Dr. Maloney came to learn that their vision was perfect, but that they chose to wear non-prescription frames as a fashion statement.

Some Los Angeles LASIK eye surgery patients have admitted, having worn glasses almost their entire life, they are often not recognized. Glasses have become their signature look.Take the celebrity patient of Dr. Maloney’s TV game show host Drew Carey. Having undergone LASIK years ago with Dr. Maloney, he still wears glasses on his show, or when in character, because they became part of his signature look.

Other LASIK Los Angeles patients admit, they do not need glasses to see anymore, but they like the designer frames that have even recently graced the models of New York fashion week, and celebrity endorsements for high-end fashion eyewear. They like that people stop them and ask, “Where did you get your glasses?” as well as the fact that they can take them off later, and still have perfect vision.

One young Los Angeles business woman told the Wall Street Journal recently, she wears contacts and non-prescription frames simultaneously. After seeing the trend in fashion eyewear, she picked up several pairs of less expensive, colorful frames, and wears them in turns depending on her outfit. She hopes to get Los Angeles LASIK surgery with Dr. Maloney soon, but in the meantime, she enjoys the look that wearing glasses gives her, especially during business meetings. “Wearing glasses helps her look more like "boss lady" in meetings, she says, and it's cheaper than buying loads of designer prescription frames.”

Los Angeles LASIK eye surgeon Dr. Robert Maloney has run into a few previous patients of laser vision correction wearing glasses. At first alarmed, Dr. Maloney came to learn that their vision was perfect, but that they chose to wear non-prescription frames as a fashion statement.

Some Los Angeles LASIK eye surgery patients have admitted, having worn glasses almost their entire life, they are often not recognized. Glasses have become their signature look.Take the celebrity patient of Dr. Maloney’s TV game show host Drew Carey. Having undergone LASIK years ago with Dr. Maloney, he still wears glasses on his show, or when in character, because they became part of his signature look.

Other LASIK Los Angeles patients admit, they do not need glasses to see anymore, but they like the designer frames that have even recently graced the models of New York fashion week, and celebrity endorsements for high-end fashion eyewear. They like that people stop them and ask, “Where did you get your glasses?” as well as the fact that they can take them off later, and still have perfect vision.

One young Los Angeles business woman told the Wall Street Journal recently, she wears contacts and non-prescription frames simultaneously. After seeing the trend in fashion eyewear, she picked up several pairs of less expensive, colorful frames, and wears them in turns depending on her outfit. She hopes to get Los Angeles LASIK surgery with Dr. Maloney soon, but in the meantime, she enjoys the look that wearing glasses gives her, especially during business meetings. “Wearing glasses helps her look more like "boss lady" in meetings, she says, and it's cheaper than buying loads of designer prescription frames.”

Dr. Robert O. Young is a big proponent of alkaline diet. He has best selling books about the miracle of pH balance of the body. Alkaline diet is a good way to balance the pH of your body. When you eat alkalized food you will avoid sickness and symptoms of low energy.

When your body is at an imbalance, you will feel sick and tired. You will feel unexplained aches and pains in your joints and muscles, headaches, poor digestion, and weight gain. All this just because you are not watching what you are eating. Dr. Robert O. Young believes that getting our body at 7.4 pH balance will help our immune system to fight diseases.

Actually, Dr. Robert O. Young's book the pH Miracle, has a lot of testimonials from people who claimed to have reversed cancer using alkaline diet. This may be due to the balanced condition of the body. With a balanced body you will have less acidity. Acidity causes toxins in the body to trigger free radicals that in turn causes cancer. Without excessive acidity in the body you will be able to prevent cancer.

The pH balance of the body also has a crucial role in the weight loss of a person. When you lose weight, you will gain explosive energy to face the challenges of life. You will be able to perform at your4 peak, may it be at work or at home. You will surely live a healthy and fulfilling life.

Know more about alkaline diet, pH balance, and Dr. Robert O. Young's principles about alkaline diet. This is for the sake of your own health. Alkaline diet can help balance your inner structure and make you healthier and more energetic than ever before.

You can start right away and consume alkaline food. You can put lemon or lime on your water to make an alkalized water. This alone can help you, but I know that you need more for your health's sake. You can try out a great alkaline diet systems out there. Or you can try the best alkaline diet system in the Internet.

Change your lifestyle and be healthy. Stop smoking and excessive drinking. Remember that drinking can cause liver cancer and smoking can cause lung cancer. Stop the bad habits and you will immediately feel healthier.

The ultimate change is to eat alkalized food as endorsed by Dr. Robert O. Young. To know more about alkaline diet just sign up for our free newsletter. You will also get a free alkaline diet chart if you follow this link http://www.acidalkalinediet.org/